Arthur opened the door to the Kirkland's residence, courteously letting you walk in first, making you smile at his old-fashionedness. His brothers Allistor, Ian and Drew looked up from the alcohol they were consuming. Drew was the only one who appeared not to be drunk off his arse.
"Oh ma gaw'! ________'s so FA' NOW!!" Allistor nearly screeched.
"N- She's not fat, that's not very nice. She's pr--" Drew tried uncomfortably.
"YEAH, ARTIE'S COOKING MADE HER FAT! HAHAHA!" Ian snorted.
"SHUT YOUR MOUTHS ALL OF YOU!" Arthur yelled, but nothing really changed. You felt a bit sorry for him, being the youngest of four.
"NO!" the quietest of the brothers made himself heard for once. "She's pregnant! Not FAT! Pregnant!" Drew mimed having a big stomach, making you collapse laughing. You didn't notice Arthur looking at you resentfully and a little jealously.
Allistor sat with his mouth half open. "Wha?"
"SHE'S PREGNANT!!" Arthur lost it.
There was silence as the drunken brothers tried to comprehend. Then suddenly it clicked.
"OH MY GOD ARTHUR HAD SEX WITH ________?!" Allistor finally shrieked.
Arthur and you blushed so scarlet that Antonio would have had a field day.
"WUZ HEH GOOD?" Ian inquired, collapsing onto the table.
"Uh…" How were you supposed to answer that?
Allistor straightened up a bit and looked at you quite clearly and seriously.
"Di-did he fart in you when he stuck his---"
"ALLISTOR!" Drew shrieked, almost as scarlet as you as Ian roared with laughter.
"He made you feel~ like the only girl in th' wurrrd~" Allistor gurgled.
"Um…________…sorry about this…" Drew hustled you and Arthur out, Arthur screaming obscenities at Allistor.
((what is this lol))